As one of my way to create the Year of Zen I started practising gratitude. Well, I say thank for 10 things every day that I have in my life or happened to me that day (tiny things and big things. Like having a cupboard full of food or having a warm bed). Feeling grateful is not always easy and I must admit sometimes I just do it but the real deep feeling of being grateful is just not there. I felt really bad about it. Then I read the below in one of Tara Stiles’ newsletters and suddenly this shameful feeling changed.
I sat next to the bed on my yoga mat and started to “try to meditate.” Mike walked in at some point and I opened one eye and joked, “it’s not working!” He said so sagely it was simultaneously funny and annoying, “It doesn’t have to work. You just have to do it.”
Yes, obviously. Even when the meditation doesn’t feel like it’s working in the moment, it’s doing something great for you. Even when the yoga doesn’t feel like it’s working in the moment, it’s doing something great for you. Even when unplugging from the projects for a moment to read or reflect doesn’t feel productive, it’s doing something great for you.
She fails as well sometimes! She’s this supercool yogi and she practises yoga and meditation and balanced life for a long time and she can’t always meditate! How amazing it is! I’m not the only one who fails at it sometimes and people with more insight and years of practise has days when it just doesn’t work. I’m not alone in this. And it’s OK if there are days when I’m just not connected. It’s OK if there are days when it doesn’t work. It doesn’t have to work. I just have to do it.