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Long story cut short: crap.

Long story below! OK, it’s not that long. I’ve been struggling with eating in the past two weeks as in I ate too much and too unhealthy. Chocolates. Cakes. Crisps. All the unhealthy stuff I pretty much cut out in August. As I was going this wrong road I thought I’d get some good put of it and I observed how I was doing, how I was feeling. 

The more bad food I ate the worse I felt. My tummy was upset. Bowel movement was like a crazy rave party from time to time. Cramps. Wind. I felt down. I didn’t have energy. My sleeping was worse too although that’s bad anyway. When I first had chocolate I really craved it because the chocolate I remembered was soothing and creamy and satisfying. Disappointingly it wasn’t nice at all, too sweet and not satisfying. But it made me crave sugar. Not the sugar you find in fruits but the sugar you add to things. It didn’t make me feel good yet I was craving it. I never realised it was this addictive. I eat sugar from fruits but not added sugar or at least very minimal. And I just wanted this added sugar soooo badly. I tried to substitute it with eating a banana. Nope, it didn’t work. And the more I ate the worse I felt. By Friday (yesterday) I got to the stage I was nearly sick in the morning and I was battling with it until mid morning. And that was a wake up call to get back to healthy eating.

Today is good eating day 1. I’m craving chocolate, crisps and doughnuts. Hah! I had none. But to treat myself I had a hot chocolate before going to bed. It’s good! Very good. It silenced my ravaging mood (I was pretty much at the verge of crying mid afternoon while I was OK an hour earlier…) and it filled my tummy. I had a lovely dinner (lunch wasn’t that good due to some daytime issues…) too, spicy vegetable cream soup made of broccoli, sweet potato and chickpeas with chilli and coriander.

Tomorrow morning is spinning class and healthy eating again! I think I’ll start feeling better in a few days as the bad stuff is dropping out. Hopefully it will help with my mood too. And sleeping. And energy. 

Going through this experience made me think what makes people eat all this bad stuff all the time if it makes them feel so bad which they’re probably used to  u now. It’s frightening. And I most certainly don’t want to go back to this kind of routine. Every once in a while it’s OK but not as a lifestyle. Not anymore.

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