birthday passed and I think it will be a super proper memory day for a few more years. So here is my birthday evolution:

– Birthday 2014: they’re all lying to me. They pretend but they don’t mean it. Nobody loves me. I’m worth nothing. (Crying) There’s no point me living anymore. I’m just bad and useless…

– Birthday 2015: (pre-birthday: I’m dreaded) oh, ok, they wish me HB. Some of them actually mean it. Why do they wish to me happiness and good things? Yeah, that one must have just had a reminder and automatically posted Happy birthday. Oh, nice to receive birthday wishes from this and that. Hmm, maybe they really mean it. I don’t understand why. it’s actually not bad to receive messages. Still makes no sense. (no crying. Slightly puzzled)

– Birthday 2016: that warm, tingly feeling in your (not biological but spiritual) heart when you’re loved and you’re able to accept that love and it feels good because no matter how crap you are or how crap you feel they still love you. They find you important. Because you might not see it yet but behind that fog you suspect you’re worthy and valuable and you deserve to be loved. Now you just have to find love for yourself…

I wonder what Birthday 2017 will bring! But 2014 has a very dark memory and it lives in me very vividly but it’s also a great keypoint to mesure my progress.



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