I filled in two tests on psychologies.co.uk regarding how I cone through to others and what my relation to my body is. The results are interesting but not the least surprising:
You need approval
You sometimes trust the opinions of others more than you trust your own. As a result, you experience swings in self-esteem, and how you feel about yourself hinges on how you are perceived. Any sign of acceptance brings joy and confidence and any show of disapproval pulls the rug from under you. Without a core sense of self, you lack an anchor from which you can assess your value independently of immediate feedback. This reliance on social approval means you sometimes put more stock in the judgement of others than is helpful. You need to develop a stronger sense of your own worth. Think about three things you are good at, then three things that you would like to learn. This should help you develop your own parameters for success, rather than looking to others for approval. By building a stronger sense of who you are and what you are proud of, you will worry less about what other people think of you.
Mostly As: You’re uncomfortable with your body
Your relationship with your body seems fairly tormented and difficult. It is more of a poisoned chalice than a gift you can enjoy, and you often associate it with discomfort, unease, fear or anxiety. You try to ignore it, so you will not have to meet with its demands, particularly its destructive urges. You hope it won’t express or give away your feelings, you fear being overwhelmed by emotions too powerful for you to control. Anxious that your body will betray your painful secrets, you are obsessively careful about it, you watch out for the slightest pain, the least sign for anything out of the ordinary. This tendency may lead to hypochondria as, subconsciously, you would rather your body expressed itself through illnesses you can identify, rather than in words perhaps better left unsaid. You seem unable to see your body except from this anxious and disturbed perspective – it’s an enemy to you, or at very least a troublesome stranger. Often, this kind of attitude has its origins in a lack of happy, positive and loving experiences linked to the body during childhood. To be able to live with your body in a positive way, you must be able to treat it as a source of pleasure, without feeling insecure or guilty. Have you ever done that? Trying to suppress whatever your body might be communicating will not get rid of the overwhelming anxiety you associate with it. If you want to live more freely with your body and accept it as your friend, you could try to focus on the origins of this pain blighting your life. Don’t be afraid to listen to your pain, it may help you to understand your emotions. Your feelings, contrary to what you believe, are not life-threatening, but life-affirming – as soon as you learn to accept them.