So I told him. I told him what bothers me the most. He said we have nothing in common to talk about and that was the most painful as I didn’t feel that to be fair because I don’t feel he tried it, I mean that he really tried to talk to me about anything but small talk.
He didn’t really show any expressions. No feelings. Nothing. I knew he was listening but that’s it. Then I told him I knew he didn’t give a sh*t about it but I needed to tell him. He said the reason might have been the lack of common things. I said it might have been he never tried. We were looking at each other. I think I was calm. I didn’t raise my voice. And I was on the verge of crying. So I turned around, changed clothes and went out running. Crying. Then eventually stopped crying because then I couldn’t breathe.
Just before I left I met him in the kitchen. I apologised I’ve always been telling him these things when he’s eating but that’s the only time when he’s at home and available to talk. He just smiled at me. I tried not to show any feelings.
It’s sad now. It’s final. I killed my hopes…


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